Post-Christmas GG thoughtsicles

GOSSIP GIRLMy fake boyfriend Chuck Bass is pondering something. You see? He has his wonder face on. The thing that he is wondering is this: why is Penelope, the bitchtastic leader of the UES Plastics when Blair has something better to do, like throwing a totally awesome party or being a member of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club or keeping vigilant watch while Dorota skins 101 dalmatian puppies and makes a coat out of them, so powerful that she can kick around Nellie Yuki, who is my all-time favorite marginal GG character, and Hazel, who is my all-time favorite marginal GG character with a Tumblr, yay!?

Okay, but seriously. Penelope sucks. She’s no fun, she’s not smart, she’s not cunning, she’s not interesting, she’s such a Blair-bot it’s ridiculous (headbands WHAT?!),  ad infinitum. There are a million reasons why Penelope is the worst. I want to see an episode that is completely centered on Hazel and Nellie’s plan to destroy the evil that is Penelope. I can’t believe she ever had the nerve, THE NERVE, to freeze out Blair Waldorf, at BUTTER OF ALL PLACES THAT RESTAURANT IS SO A YEAR AND A HALF AGO. Also wasn’t her name Hazel last season? I’m just saying. Perhaps I will call her Un-Hazel from now on, to differentiate her from the true blue Hazel that reminds me of Gretchen Weiners and will likely, in the future, rise up to destroy her master.

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Even I, who have a pretty low opinion of Little J, think she’s too cool to be hanging out with this clown posse. Penelope must be STOPPED, if only because I am sick of her getting screen time because she is THE WORST EVER. Check it.

Well, Penelope won’t get away with this kind of crap for long. I am always watching, and soon I will sic my boyfriend Chuck Bass on her. He’s in a destroying mood, although you wouldn’t know it from the TOTALLY AWESOME SANTA HAT I got him to wear.  Observe:

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Happy Holidays from Chuck and I! Penelope, watch your back.

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