It’s my birthday!

(It is not my birthday.) (Anymore.)

So anyway, last night I saw my friend Nikki and she gave me a birthday present. Rather than tell you about it, first I’m just going to show it to you in the order in which I unwrapped it.

This was the card:


To be sure. Inside it says “You’re growing up and getting older! Happy 25th, Nikki”. And then there’s a sweet little note about how awesome I am, but I won’t make you read that–I tell you how awesome I am enough as it is! But, seriously, look at this thing. It is a masterpiece unlike any that I have ever before laid eyes on. Truly beautiful. I think I might frame it.

Then I took off the wrapping paper and look what I found!


And! Wait for it…


Now, I believe I’ve yammered at length about how much I love the Gosselins. Oh, yup, there it is. But, while I might like watching them less, I am equally if not more fascinated by the Duggar family. Yeah, that’s their website I just linked you to. Welcome to a black hole of “WTF?” I got home sorta late last night so I wasn’t able to adequately peruse either of these two books, we did notice that the Duggar one contains recipes for things like tater tot casserole for TWENTY PEOPLE. Also, floor plans of their house, just in case I wanted to head on down to Arkansas and infiltrate the compound. (I have no current plans to do so.)

I’m pretty much the opposite of the Duggar family–I’m one person, who eats for one person and cooks for one person and lives in a room the size of…no, you know what, there’s no place in the Duggar house that isn’t ginormous, so I can’t even make a comparison there. Maybe the size of Jordyn-Grace Makiya’s crib. That’s their new infant, for people who don’t devote every waking second to thinking about whether “Jessica” is too normal a name to bet on in their New Duggar Naming Pool.

Bygones. The point is, Nikki is the best. Great friends are better than book deals. This is something I’ve learned.

Of course, book deals are nice, too. So are agents…and I get to have lunch with mine tomorrow! Although, “dangerous wind chills” are expected to approach -25 degrees F. This is bad news bears for my extremities. I’d better bundle up.

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