Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

I’ve discovered the secret to TOTAL. INTERNET. FAME.

That secret is to write about the Twilight books all the time.

I was looking at my WordPress stats (that’s my own personal brand of heroin lately) and I am not joking you NINE out of TEN of the search terms that lead to this blog today were a variation on the “my own personal heroin” line from Twilight, which I used as the title of my Twilight movie post. Nine! Of ten! Many of my most popular posts are somehow Twilight related: Is Bella Swan Anti-Feminist? 15 Reasons Why Breaking Dawn is FTW. My Own Personal Brand of Heroin. You guys love Twilight like whoa, don’t you? In “Is Bella Swan Anti-Feminist?” I promised to start talking about my own books more, but maybe you don’t want me to!

It’s okay. I understand. And I appreciate the love, for whatever reason I am receiving it. And, I mean, I really did bring this on myself, I do talk about Twilight an awful lot these days.

In honor of that, have you guys seen this hilarious article about Twilight in The Atlantic? The writer, Catilin Flanagan, states for the record “I hate Y.A. novels; they bore me.” Well, okay! I’m sure she’ll have a lot of friends on this blog. But, wait, she loves Twilight, so she is redeemed. EL OH EL not really but whatever. She’s right in saying Twilight is a page-turner, but what exactly was the “lurching, frightening ending [she] never saw coming”? No offense to Stephenie Meyer, but the ending was fairly predictable. Maybe she means the part where Edward has to suck James’ vamp venom out of Bella without killing her. I guess that is sort of freaky. Man, Breaking Dawn is going to blow this woman’s mind.

The thing about Flanagan’s article is that while I want to make fun of her because she’s so breathless with adoration for Twilight but pretty much hates on all other YA written after she turned fifteen (and WHAT is with her making fun of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants‘ girl power, besties over boyfriends message? I found that highly objectionable, not to mention bizarre), she pretty much puts her finger on the pulse of why I like Twilight so much.

Nevertheless, while reading it I kept expecting her to be all “Psych! I hated it”, because the writing is so over-the-top with its pronouncements and, dare I say, its possessiveness, my favorite being that, though the book’s main market is teenage girls, that it takes an adult like her to truly appreciate how epically fantastic it is, while also slamming it for being “no work of literature.” Caitlin Flanagan is such an underminer, you guys! But then again, she doesn’t really believe in sisterhood (see: her opinion of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, as I previously mentioned), so really what did we expect?

There is one thing in Flanagan’s article I especially liked, and it was when she called Edward Bella’s “squeeze.” Can we bring “squeeze” back? That’s it, it’s going in my next book!